You know you should have stayed in bed when……

What time I get up in the morning depends on many factors. How tired am I? Do I have to drive anyone to school that day? How badly does my dog have to pee? The timing is critical and the negotiations with myself the night before as I set my alarm, lengthy.


This morning I woke up with exactly enough time to take Rascal out, eat breakfast, shower and get ready for work. Since I was going out for lunch and didn’t have to make one, I was already ahead by two minutes.


It was still mostly dark when I went to let Rascal out into the yard to pee. I searched as best I could the perimeter and bushes looking for skunks, opossum and rabbits that he could conceivably tangle with, and seeing none, opened the door. Then a thought hit me. I don’t even know why, call it intuition if you like, but I suddenly felt the need to make sure the side gate was closed. I went in my p.j.’s to the side of our house and saw that the gate was wide open. Rascal saw it at the same moment and headed right for it! Somehow, I managed to get in front of him and turned around and pointed my finger at him and yelled “Stop”. He froze. Between you and me I’m still kind of surprised that actually worked. I ran to the gate and closed it.


I went upstairs to make sure my daughter was up. She wasn’t. I gave her a shake and as I was walking away she said “I’m still not feeling very well. Can you drive me to school so I don’t have to wait for the bus?” She had been quite sick on the weekend but I was pretty certain she was fine this morning. But then the old motherhood/my baby is sick/guilt thing kicked in and I said, sure, but hurry up.


Curses! Now I was going to have to rush. I jumped in the shower. When I got out, I glanced at the clock. I was doing okay, but I still had to brush my teeth, do my makeup and dry my hair! I stepped into my closet to get my clothes. I had given my wardrobe a great deal of thought already. I had a very important lunch meeting with a local author that I was hoping would agree to be our first guest on our new talk show. My outfit was designed to be informal yet professional, serious, yet fun! I was going for competent, and charming! When I came out of the closet, I was dressed except for the cream coloured sweater because I was afraid of getting mascara or toothpaste or something on it!


My husband was standing at the sink preparing to lather up his face and shave.


“What are you doing?” I asked. He gave me a look that suggested that unless I was dense, that should be fairly obvious.


“I have to go to work. You don’t have to go anywhere”, I continued. “Let me finish getting ready first”.


He insisted it would only take him a minute and then the bathroom was mine. Having no other option, I walked away to go find a necklace to wear. A minute later I was back, and he was brushing his teeth! I glared at him in the mirror. He laughed at me, and made as if to give me hug….with his toothbrush in his mouth….which proceeded to poke me in the eye before I could get out of his way!


After he had left, I looked at my very red eye in the mirror as I put on mascara. I think at that point I was cursing a little under my breath. Hopefully the redness would die down a bit by my meeting at lunch. I pulled my sweater over my head and I was ready to go. At least that looked nice.


Leaving the bedroom, I reached to open the bedroom door…not realizing my husband was at that very moment chasing my dog up the stairs and straight for me. As soon as I opened the door, Rascal barreled right into me, almost knocking me off my feet…and almost overturning the half cup of tea that I was bringing down to the kitchen. I quickly checked my sweater and skirt. That was close!


Driving my daughter to school, I was given the finger by a man old enough to know better, who was jay-walking across one of the access roads on the Brock Campus, for not stopping and letting him go.


As she got out of the car, Kaitlin wished me luck on my lunch meeting. “You look nice”, she said as she smiled and shut the door.


I got to work with a minute to spare. Normally I wouldn’t worry too much about that, but I had a meeting first thing and I hate to keep anyone waiting. I managed to grab a cup of coffee and headed into the meeting room. As we were leaving, I was telling Debbie about my morning so far. She thought it was hilarious. I looked at my half filled coffee cup in my hand and said I probably shouldn’t be drinking this. The way I’m going, I will probably dribble it all down my sweater.


Yup.


It wasn’t the coffee that got me though. When I got back to my office and put down my folders and notes, I realized I had clipped my pen to the top folder…and now had a lovely black ink stain across my chest. How can I be charming and professional with a giant ink stain on my chest?


I sent out an email SOS asking if anyone had a Tide Stick? Helene did, so I grabbed it and headed into the bathroom. I dabbed a very tiny mark first. It seemed to work. So I dabbed more. The black ink turned a sickly green and spread!! Now what? My right breast looked like it had a black and green bull’s eye painted on it! I grabbed a handful of paper towel, soaked it in the sink and began to dab. As ideas go, this was a very bad one. The mark just got bigger. I suddenly remembered I had a small bottle of bleach in my desk that I use to clean my tea cup every now and again. I ran out and found the bottle, and locked myself back in the bathroom.


I took off my sweater and laid the stained area as best I could on its own across the top of the sink. I liberally poured bleach over it. It took a minute or two, but it seemed to be working. I poured a little more. It was then that I noticed that the mark had seeped through my sweater and I had a similar bull’s eye on my bra! One problem at time I thought! There was still the faintest of yellow stains on my sweater so I vigorously rubbed the material together and then held it under the faucet to rinse it out. It worked!!


I happily put my sweater back on. My very, very wet sweater. As I sat at my desk, I couldn’t help but shiver then Helene reminded me of my little heater that I keep in my office for the very coldest of winter days  I sat it beside me on my desk and turned it on full blast.


Mary walked down the hall passing the bathroom, stopped and said to no one in particular: “Why do I smell bleach?”


Debbie started laughing.


“Shut Up!” I emailed Debbie.


Thankfully, I was about 2/3 of the way dry by the time I had to leave for my lunch meeting. Not a trace of ink could be seen and I only ever so faintly smelled of bleach. My lunch guest was interesting and charming and we had a wonderful meeting and he agreed to do our show. I was thrilled!


I guess this day isn’t so bad after all!

So...you want to host a tv talk show?

The idea came to me as I was sitting in a hall listening to a guest speaker's discourse on local media. It was pretty interesting - I confess, there is a lot more going on in our local area than I'd realized.   After the talk, the regular monthly CFUW meeting commenced, followed by refreshments.   I didn't really pay attention to much after the speaker was done and as soon as I could steer Mary and Jacquie towards the door, we left.   It was a very cold, rainy Tuesday night, and we all hurried to my car.   As I clicked "unlock" on my key, I said, "You know what we need to do?  I have a great idea!"   They both stared at me. Mary looked interested. Jacquie, who has know me for almost 20 years looked a little scared.            "Book Club on tv", I finished. "It's brilliant!"

As I was starting my car at the same time, I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty sure Jacquie rolled her eyes.

"Why would we do that?" Mary asked from the back seat.

I met her eyes in the rear view mirror.

"Because we can", I answered with a grin.

Neither of them took me seriously, but the idea was still percolating in my head days later.   I looked up our local tv station and found an email contact for the programming director.   I wrote an email pitching my idea.   I said I saw it as kind of "The View, but with books and wine!".    I didn't mention to anyone that I had done this.  Two days later I received a response.

I walked into Mary's office at work and stood in her doorway.   "I know you're busy but I just wanted to let you know that I pitched our idea to our local tv station and they loved it. They want to meet".

Mary looked at me with a puzzled expression.  "What idea?" she asked. 

"The tv talk show.  I pitched it and they want to meet". 

Mary stared at me for what seemed like a full minute.  Then she burst into laughter so loud that it had the Auditors in the meeting room down the hall craning their necks to see what was going on.   One of the things I love most about Mary is her laugh!

Next I emailed Jacquie to tell her the news.  All I got in response to that email was   Oh.  My.  God.

A lot of discussion later, I had a meeting with the Programming Director and the Production Manager at Channel 10.   We went over the ideas we had come up with, discussed logistics and agreed to film a pilot episode in the fall to see how it goes.   

So.  We are filming the pilot next Friday.  Our guest will be a local author and historian.  More details on that in the show blog: http://letstalkaboutit-nancyr.blogspot.com/

At this point I flip between very excited and a little nauseous.  Part of the deal was that I had to agree to Produce the show as well, and be responsible for content, so I have no one but myself to blame if it doesn't go well. 

Wish us luck!!!   I'll let you know how it goes!

Teaching English – Continued.

Despite the success of our first night teaching English to Mexican Migrant workers, I knew we had to come up with an actual lesson plan to follow in the weeks to come. I thought about what I would find it useful to know coming to a country where you didn’t speak the language:

Days of the week, Greetings, food, money and how to explain what hurts to a doctor or dentist.

I looked online for ESL Teacher sites, and there is a lot of information out there, but it mostly seemed to involve grammar. I’m not saying that isn’t important, but I just didn’t think that was where we really needed to go at this point. Maybe further down the road.

I made up some exercise sheets with questions with fill in the blank answers – along the lines of “My hair is ________” as we learned colours. And similar ones for learning body parts, days of the week, etc.I went to the store and bought a white board and some markers, and a game with pretend bills and coins to learn about our money.

Then I thought about the CDs I am using to try and learn Spanish. Everything is repetition, so I decided that we would build on what we taught from week to week, and keep reviewing everything as we go.

Our second class went well too. The ladies even put out snacks for us! We went over what we had covered the week before, and then added to it. It seems to be working. They are so eager to learn that it makes it easy. We had a lot of fun.

Last Friday evening I had just arrived home from work when there was a knock at the door. It was a young man that works for my husband – I knew I’d seen him there, but hadn’t actually met him before. He said my husband had hired him to come by the house and do some maintenance so we went into the backyard and I was making small talk with him while we waited for my husband to get home. He said he is a full time student at the University and works for my husband part time. I asked what he is taking at school and he said Business. He went on to say that he would love to find a job teaching ESL but it’s difficult because he has no experience….. my eyes lit up and I got a huge smile on my face. I couldn’t believe the coincidence! I was just about to launch into my “do I have an opportunity for you” when my husband came around the corner. He had heard the last sentence. All he said was, “Justin, run”.

The Mother of all Ticks.

There are some things you just don’t do before you’ve had caffeine in the morning. I remember driving up north with my kids and telling my then teenage son “there will be no Marilyn Manson before I’ve had my coffee”, as he was pushing the CD in the player. There are just certain rules. This morning however, no amount of caffeine in the world could have made it any better.
I got up as usual at six, and as usual, Rascal and I headed downstairs so I could put him out in the backyard to pee. I had just put his collar on, and was holding it in one hand as I attached the leash to it with the other, and there it was. The Mother of all Ticks! A Teenage Mutant Ninja Tick. It was, without exaggeration, the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. I actually jumped back in the house as my hand passed over it! Rascal was oblivious and just wandered outside to do his business.

I stood in the kitchen feeling slightly nauseous, knowing I was going to have to do something about this…thing! What you have to understand is, removing ticks from a dog, while not pleasant, has never particularly bothered me before. It’s a necessary thing, and I just do it. But this, this Tick was not normal. It was the kind of tick you’d find in a Spiderman Movie attacking the trains in Grand Central Station.

I went looking for the tweezers I keep for these occasions, but I couldn’t find them anywhere.
Rascal came back in the house and I took him into the bathroom and I tried to steal myself for the task ahead. Kaitlin walked in and said “I can’t find my tweezers….” as she noticed they were in my hand.

“I’ll buy you new ones” I replied grimly as I bent over the dog. I tentatively poked my finger in his fur to locate the beast. I suddenly saw it and squealed and jumped back again. Kaitlin was looking at me like I was nuts. She came closer and then she saw it too. “Holy F**k” she screamed as she jumped back too.

Then her eyes widened even more as she suddenly realized what she had just said in front of her Mother. Don’t worry I told her, I said the same thing.

There was nothing for it but to do it. I parted his fur with one hand and managed to grab the thing by its head. It’s huge, disgusting head. It refused to let go. I tugged and wiggled and finally it sprang free, its hideous legs waving frantically. I flung it into the toilet bowl. Kaitlin and I inched closer and peered in at it. It stared back. We shuddered. I slammed the lid and flushed.

When I came downstairs again, dressed and ready to go, Kaitlin was watching tv. “Did you have breakfast?” I asked.

“I may never eat again” she replied. I knew exactly how she felt. I shuddered again.

Teaching English Conversation

I was expecting one Mexican lady named Beatriz, and there she was, smiling expectantly at me. So were eight other Mexican ladies that I had not been expecting. ‘Don’t show fear’ I thought to myself as I plastered an even bigger smile on my face, cleared my throat and began. “Buenas Tardes. Come está usted?” I had just used pretty much the sum of my Spanish vocabulary and had accomplished nothing.
They smiled politely and there were various responses of “Bien, Gracias”. My smile was starting to hurt my face and the thought flashed through my head that I am an idiot and had no business thinking I could teach English conversation to these women. But then I remembered that Carol Delaney didn’t raise a quitter, so I squared my shoulders and pushed on.
With a lot of giggling on their part at my pronunciation, we were able to establish that all nine of the ladies wanted to join the class, that I would come back on Monday at 7:00 and we would go from there.
Back in my vehicle, I took an enormous deep breath and then began thinking about how I was going to do this as I drove home.
It all started when I was doing a tax return for someone when I was still in public accounting. The client had included a number of charitable donation slips and I was going through them to make sure there were no duplicates and that they were in fact all registered charity receipts. I came across one for something called the CFUW. I had never heard of it, so I quickly googled it to see if I could use it.
It stands for Canadian Federation of University Women. I read enough to determine it was not a charitable receipt, but I was intrigued. When I got home, I googled it again and read more. I was impressed with their mandate and the various good works that they did. I had some ideas myself for things I would like to do that would be a lot easier to accomplish in a group like that, so I joined. From that group was born the Social Action Niagara Committee – a group of three women with good intentions who just needed a plan. After the first meeting I came home almost walking on air, buoyed by all the wonderful things we were going to do! When I told my husband we had just formed a Social Action committee, he looked up from the tv and informed me that if I got arrested, he was not bailing me out! The group got off to a bit of a rocky start, but eventually we came up with not one, but three plans and realized we needed more members. I was able to recruit three of my friends and then we were six.
Living as we do in an agricultural area with a lot of Migrant Workers, one of the items on our agenda was to see what we could do for them. After all, they make up a vital part of our community for several months of the year. English conversation lessons was the first plan to be implemented.
I had been to see the ESL teacher at my daughter’s school for some ideas on how to begin, and she was very helpful. I also bought a CD set called “Learn Spanish while you drive” so I could, well, learn Spanish while I drive. I made up a flyer offering English Conversation lessons and we distributed them to some of the Growers in the area. Before we knew it, we were getting calls.
Being a bit of a sink or swim personality, I decided that we had had enough meetings about doing this, and we just needed to do it! And so here I found myself, on Monday night at 7pm once again facing 9 eager faces. Thank goodness I’d brought cookies! Between that, and having everyone write their name on a sticky name tag and slap it on their chest, I had a couple of minutes to take deep cleansing breaths and say a little prayer! Thankfully, I was not alone in this. One of our group Mary, had come with me, and she had brought an acquaintance who mercifully spoke Spanish fluently! Gloria was a Godsend.
Gloria was able to communicate what I hoped to do over the next few weeks and to get the ladies feedback. I was impressed that I understood as much of their conversation as I did, but I still have a long way to go. I explained to them that while I would be teaching them English, they would be teaching me Spanish! They loved this idea.
Before I knew it, an hour and half had gone by. As we took our leave, they asked me for homework. Since we had gone over the parts of the body that night, I told them for homework they had to practice that and be able to recite them in English next week. Then they assigned me homework – I had to be able to recite them in Spanish!
I left that night feeling on top of the world and eagerly looking forward to the next class.
Buenas Noches

New York, New York

Why does New York City keep pulling me? Yes, it’s a great city, but I’ve been to other great cities before and there was nowhere near the connection that I felt the first time I stepped off a curb and almost got run over by a taxi.

A friend came by the other night – we were in the process of getting dinner ready and there was way too much food – as soon as we heard that he hadn’t eaten yet it was stay for dinner…please! During dinner he mentioned that he and wife were planning a trip to New York shortly, and did we have any ideas for them? I felt an immediate pang that I wasn’t going too! This happens every time. It’s not that I begrudge anyone else having fun, it’s just that I want to go too.

The first time we went to New York, my husband took me for our anniversary. We had talked about going for a couple of years and it was a wonderful surprise. The year before I had been to New Jersey for a conference and a group there had planned a day trip into the City before they left. It was so very tempting, but I knew I would feel bad if I went without my husband, so I declined their invitation. It almost killed me. Instead, I sat in the airport at five o’clock in the morning waiting for my flight home and watched the sun rise over the city. It was so beautiful. As tired as I was, I was mesmerized.

Our first trip was in April, and the weather was surprisingly warm. We stayed at the Parker Meridian on W58th near the Park. The hotel was incredible with a view of Central Park and I couldn’t wait to get out there! We checked in on a Thursday afternoon and immediately went back out and started walking. As we strolled along a winding path through the 59th St. park entrance, I looked up at a man coming towards us and it was Hugh Downes from 20/20. I caught his eye and he smiled and said hello, beautiful day! I agreed and we went on our way. I looked at my husband…wasn’t that?... Yes, yes it was.

Until you actually walk in Central Park, you cannot appreciate the wonder of it. First of all the size, but also the beauty. Almost every turn brings into view some new little bridge, or pond, or garden.
When we left the park and headed towards Midtown, we were immediately swept up in the bustle of work day NY. No one strolls. It took only a couple of cross walks to learn that you step off the curb before the light actually changes in your favour, to be met with the sound of a dozen yellow cabs honking in unison! The energy was infectious. We walked for hours, first to Time Square, then crisscrossing down side streets so as not to miss a thing.

We did and saw so much on that short trip but one thing in particular stands out: On Sunday morning we went for our last walk in Central Park only to be caught in a major downpour. The sun hadn’t quite made it out that morning, so we were not only soaking wet, but it was cold too! Making our way back to Central Park West, we found ourselves in front of Tavern on the Green. I had seen this restaurant in any number of old black and white movies based in NY. We decided to try and just duck under the eaves to get out of the rain. We were far too wet and bedraggled to go in! After a minute or so the hostess noticed us and motioned us in. I said we were too wet to come in – we were literally dripping – but she said nonsense! She took us upstairs to the loft lounge and sat us by a roaring fire then brought us drinks. It was the perfect ending to our first trip!

We’ve been three times since, with friends, and the last time with our daughter and her best friend. Each trip has offered some memorable moments. One night on our second trip with our friends, we found ourselves alone for dinner as they had got caught up doing something earlier in the afternoon.
It was such a beautiful night that we decided to walk back to our hotel and took a meandering path through the theatre district. Turning a corner, we saw a large crowd across the street in front of a theatre, clearly waiting on someone to come out. We stayed on our side of the street – there was really nowhere to stand in front of the theatre – and decided to wait and see who came out. Suddenly the crowd began to buzz and someone emerged from the theatre. People were very excited and asking for pictures and autographs, but I have to confess, neither one of us had any idea who the woman was! We were just about to continue walking when the buzz built up again. Marisa Tomei emerged, and she too signed autographs and posed for pictures. We both decided that was kind of cool, but we were also chuckling a little at how excited people were getting about seeing a “celebrity”. We were just starting to move away when someone else exited the theatre and I looked over to see Al Pacino! For no apparent reason my feet started to take me across the street, as if of their own volition! I vaguely heard my husband say something, but I kept walking. A big black SUV pulled up in front of the theatre and Al Pacino climbed up on the running board to get in, but stopped to wave to the crowd. Suddenly I felt hot breath on my neck and had the odd notion that a horse was standing there! This was confirmed seconds later when a very deep voice belonging to the Policeman sitting on the horse, yelled at me to get out of the road. I didn’t move. Just then, Al Pacino looked in my direction, our eyes met, and he smiled at me. The policeman yelled again, louder this time and I remember thinking to myself, you are going to have to pick me up and physically move me if you want me to go…. Then Al got in the SUV and our moment was over.

As my husband and I walked on our way he said, “You know you just became one of the people you were making fun of?” I just kept walking with a goofy grin on my face.

On another trip, we were walking down 38th Street one evening after dinner. We had no particular plans and were just enjoying the night. Passing a little hole in the wall club, we were waved in by the doorman. Having nothing else to do at the moment, we went in for a drink. As our drinks came, some instruments were being set up at the front of the club. Soon, three young men took the stage. The owner wanted to introduce them, but they didn’t have a name yet. They had just arrived from Israel, so they suggested “three boys from Israel” for a name. And then they played. It was amazing. The kind of fast, old fashioned jazz that I associate with smoky bars in Frank Sinatra movies. We had only planned to stay for one drink, but there was no way we were leaving. After their first set, a young woman in the audience was brought up to meet them by the club’s owner, and they decided she should sing a few songs with them. It was a couple of quick seconds of “ok, we’ll play this, and you do that” and then they began. It was as if they had been playing together for years, and her voice was perfect for the music. When it was over, much too soon, no one wanted to leave. I looked at my watch and couldn’t believe how many hours had passed since we sat down!

There are a lot of touristy things to do in New York City. The things that had captivated my imagination before I even got to see them: The Empire State Building, The Brooklyn Bridge, and Rockefeller Centre. Things I had for years seen in romantic movies; movies where the city is as much a character as any of the actors. “You’ve Got Mail” comes to mind. “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”. Any number of Doris Day and Cary Grant films. It was definitely this romantic New York that first made me want to go. The Empire State building observation deck at night is incredible. For a nominal fee you can get headphones and a recording of “a New York cabbie” that tells you what you are seeing as you walk around. The Circle Line Boat Tour of the Island is definitely worthwhile – not only for the views, but the Guide also gives out a lot of history along the way, as well as some fun facts about which movie stars live in which buildings. The only caveat with this is that nice weather is definitely preferable! You want to be able to sit outside!
We also walked across the Brooklyn Bridge! If you want photo ops of the city, you can’t do better than this, and the Bridge itself is pretty amazing too to see up close. On one unforgettable night we got very dressed up with friends and saw La Boheme at the Metropolitan Opera House. Going there, and seeing this particular opera had been on my “bucket list” for a long time, and I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I was. I was not disappointed. When we were heading back to our hotel, it had begun to get cold out so we stopped at a little bar for Hot Toddy’s. The perfect ending!

There are innumerable museums, including the Museum of Natural History; Art Galleries, Time Square, Broadway, and of course the shopping. I personally am not much of a shopper, but you still have to check out some of them! And if you are into shopping…well….you may never come home again. There is everything from Gucci and Armani on 5th Avenue, to Designer Bargain Basements, and everything in between. And of course, there is Tiffany’s. Tiffany’s could quite easily become my spiritual home. I have explored every floor. Although we didn’t think of it when we were there, my daughter has decided that the next time we go, we will have “breakfast” at Tiffany’s as a sort of homage to Audrey Hepburn.

I think one of the things that make the city so great, is that everything is so accessible. You cannot get lost, as it is laid out on a grid. You can walk anywhere, and if you are in a hurry, there are cabs, buses, and the subway. The last couple of trips we took the subway everywhere if we weren’t walking. And despite what you may think, I have never once felt unsafe while there. And the restaurants! Most have the menu posted outside so you can see it (and the prices) before you go in. There are some pretty pricey places to eat but there are also a lot of very nice, reasonably priced ones too. If you want a good meal, a lot of restaurants in Little Italy offer al fresco dining, with a fixed price menu of three courses. Very reasonable, and filling too! Virgil’s BBQ near Times Square has…well….BBQ! It is delicious, but be advised, if you order one of their bigger appetizers, you probably won’t be able to eat your entrée.
For lunch (or dinner for that matter) the Amish Market on 9th Avenue has the best sandwiches you could imagine – whole turkeys and hams and roasts in the deli case that they slice in front of you for sandwiches bigger than my head – and any number of sides to go with it. They also have a great grilled veggie and goat cheese Panini. You can eat in, but why not pack it up and take it to Central Park for a picnic!

I am already planning my next trip in my head as I write this. I can’t wait!

Heroic Eyebrows!

April 9, 2011
It was one of those serendipitous moments that you would have to be a fool not to take advantage of.  But let me backtrack a little....things had been more than usually hectic lately. I had been taking a course on Saturdays about an hour away from home. I have to be on the road by noon to get there on time, and don't get home again until after 5. Sundays have been mostly eaten up by studying and homework, and trying (mostly in vain) to stay on top of housework and laundry. This has been my typical weekend since the beginning of January. I’m not complaining, I’m just saying, it’s been a little crazy.

As well, this only leaves me Saturday mornings to run any errands, grocery shop, etc., so I try to get everything I need to do crammed into a couple of hours. This Saturday started out pretty much the same, with the added task of having to go and renew my driver’s license and get a new plate sticker. I didn’t really have a choice in whether or not I accomplished this today as the next day was my birthday and I would no longer be legally able to drive after that!!

I know what you’re thinking. Why did I leave this until the last minute? Well, I didn’t really. When that form arrived in the mail about a month ago, I looked at it and thought, “oh ya, my birthday is coming up” and then put it down in a pile of papers to be dealt with later. I mean, hey, I had a month! A few days later my husband happened to notice the form and said if I wanted, he would go get my sticker on his day off. Awesome! One less thing I had to do. The problem was that neither of us noticed the other piece of paper saying I also had to renew my driver’s license. A week or so went by and I asked my husband if he was still going to get my sticker for me, and he said he’d forgotten, but yes, he would. This went on for another couple of weeks or so, with him assuring me it would happen before my birthday. Two days before my license was, unbeknownst to me, going to expire, I actually read both pages and then proceeded to go online in a panic to find a place that was open on Saturday so I could still get it done on time.

Luckily, there was one across town so I figured I was all set. Saturday morning I got up as usual around 6:30, showered, dressed and took Rascal for a walk. When I got back, I woke up my daughter and husband and made breakfast. My husband was going to work, as was my daughter and I was driving her. She didn’t start until 10:30 and the MTO office opened at 9 so I figured as long as we were there when they opened, I could get it done and still get her to work on time. At 8:45 we headed out.

About halfway there, while waiting to turn left at a busy intersection downtown, my car stalled and died. I’ve only had this car for a year. This was not supposed to happen! I waited a couple of minutes and tried to start it.  Nothing.  Another couple of minutes, and again, nothing. I told my daughter to call her father and ask him to come and get her so she could still get to work on time.  As she was explaining to him what was happening, I was looking for the number for road side assistance.  Next thing I knew, her cell phone was placed against my ear while my husband went on a rant about how many times he has told me NOT to go to that gas station by our house, and it serves me right that my car died in the intersection, and NO he could not come and get Kaitlin.  After two minutes of this I finally yelled back...”This is not helping me right now” and Kaitlin took her phone back.  I took what I hoped was a deep cleansing breath and decided to try to start the car one more time, saying a little prayer as I did so.  It started.  It coughed a little and jerked when I gave it gas, but it started.  We got to the MTO service centre and naturally, the line was twisting out the door. I was not hopeful. I needed coffee. Kaitlin was starting to panic a little about being late for work, but I told her, one crisis at a time. 

The line moved surprisingly quickly and we were actually done, sticker adhered to plate and temporary license in hand, with time to spare to get her to work.  Miracle of miracles, my car started on the first try!   Once I dropped Kaitlin off, I realized that despite the trials of the morning, I actually had an hour and a half before I had to leave for school. What to do? I could go home and do some laundry...um, no. I was waiting for the light to change and happened to look up to see a neon sign over a Nail Salon.   Hmmm...it was the day before my birthday, surely I deserved a little treat? I went in and asked to get a pedicure. They could take me right away! I picked out a polish and they sat me in a massage chair and brought me a cup of coffee.

It was bliss.  I never wanted to leave. When she started to massage the arch of my foot (tortured by high heels all week), I rapidly began turning into a puddle of jelly as I slid down even farther into the massage chair. At this point, they could have talked me into anything. She said, “You know what you need? A paraffin wax treatment”. “Hmmm..Sure”. I am not certain, but I may have been slurring my words at this point. The wax was very hot as she stuck each foot in it, but it felt good!  I was so relaxed it was ridiculous.  So I sat in the massage chair, sipping coffee, with my feet encased in warm wax and covered with towels. “You should get your fingernails done to match your toes”, the girl suggested.  “Okay”.

Eventually though, like all good things, it had to come to an end and I was removed from the massage chair and put into a regular plastic chair with my toes and fingernails stuck under fans to dry the polish before I left. As I sat there, I stared at a poster on the wall offering eyebrow shaping. It consisted of various pairs of eyes and eyebrows and lips, but for some reason no noses.  It looked a bit like a Picasso painting gone mad. Each pair of eyebrows had a caption. There were “Beauty” eyebrows, “Fortune” eyebrows, “Calm”, “Lovely” and then my personal favourite, “Heroic”.  She must have noticed me reading the poster because she was beside me in flash to say, “Why don’t we clean up your brows while you’re waiting for your nails to dry?”  I was about to say no, it was okay, but then I thought, when am I going to get another opportunity to have Heroic eyebrows? It was too much to resist. 

As I finally drove away, miraculously still on schedule, I looked at my eyebrows in the rear-view mirror. They looked good, but I was not completely convinced about the heroic part. I think she gave me Fortune eyebrows by mistake.