I received an invitation the other day to Tyler's first birthday - I can't believe it's almost been a year!
It was a Thursday night and our Ice Dogs had home ice advantage over the London Knights. Tavares was playing! The second period had just started when my cell phone started vibrating in my jeans pocket and just about scared me out of my seat. I grabbed my phone and said hello but the crowd was suddenly on their feet screaming and I couldn't hear anything. I looked at the number that was calling, saw that it was Dorothy, and tried again, covering my other ear with my gloved hand. I could barely make her out over the noise, but I managed to get "hospital" and "now".
"We have to leave", I told my husband.
He looked at me incredulously. "What?", he shouted over the noise. "What!?"
"We have to leave. Dorothy just called me, she is on her way to the hospital. I have to go."
He just stared at me for a minute as if he couldn't believe I was serious. I got my stuff together and started squeezing my way out of our seats. He didn't move. I was out of the aisle and making my way up the steps and he still hadn't moved. Finally, realizing I was actually going, he took one more wistful look at the ice and followed me.
We were parked about five minutes away from the arena and it was snowy and cold. He grumbled all the way there under his breath....'can't believe you're making me miss Tavares!....she had to go into labour tonight...why does she need you there anyway?"
That was actually a question a lot of people have asked. Originally Dorothy had asked me to be her backup coach just in case her husband couldn't get there in time for any reason. Of course I said yes. We met regularly for lunch once a week and as time went on, Dorothy decided that I should come into the delivery room even if her husband was there. In some ways I think maybe it was partly because they hadn't really been together all that long so she didn't really know how he would be in such a situation, and besides she told me, I was there for comic relief.
I hesitated before I said yes, only because I didn't want her husband upset that I was 'horning' in on their moment! I told her that I would be happy to be there as long as it was okay with him.
Mike's response was basically, if it makes Dorothy feel better, it's fine with me!
As the time got closer, I packed a bag and left it in the car: sneakers, a sweater, a book, a present for the baby (I wanted to be the first) and some cookies and juice boxes!
So. My husband and I drove home, him still grumbling, and then I headed out. The hospital is about 25 minutes from my house and it was about nine by the time I got there. I found Dorothy and Mike in a room at the end of the hall. There was another woman in a more advanced stage of labour in the next bed and it was very...busy! And crowded. Right after I got there, the nurse came in to give Dorothy an epidural so I stepped outside for that. [Between you and me, of all the things I'd ever seen in videos in the doctors office - that was the only one that really scared me]. In our previous lunch chats one of the things that we had talked about was that Dorothy wanted to try really hard and go through the whole thing without drugs! One of my assigned tasks was to try and talk her out of it if she caved. When I got there and saw how much pain she was in - back labour: wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy - I just kept my mouth shut about the needle! After the epidural kicked in, Dorothy was able to relax a little bit and the three of us chatted, played stupid games, and finally Dorothy even slept for a bit. I was very popular let me tell you when I brought out cookies and juice around midnight!
It was a long night. It was not the first time I've tried to sleep in a chair. It can be done, but it's not easy. I must have dozed at some point though because I awoke to Mike gently shaking me and saying "it's go time!" It was around 4 am. By this time, we were in the actual delivery room - the three of us and the nurse. Now, I have to explain something here: it's the Barney factor. When my daughter was little, she loved Barney the Dinosaur and would sing his theme song all the time! One day I found myself at a funeral trying hard to fight tears and suddenly that song popped into my head. I have no idea why, but I started singing it over and over again in my head and it helped me keep my composure. I've done it any number of times since, and Dorothy knows about it to. So, here we were. The epidural had worn off and the contractions were hitting hard and fast. Dorothy looked at me beseechingly and said tell me a joke, something, anything, before the next one hit. Suddenly I started singing Barney. It was a joke, and it worked - Dorothy actually laughed! The nurse saw this and when the next contraction started she looked at me and said "Sing!" What? I tried to explain that is was a joke, it wasn't that singing helped...she yelled again, "Sing!!" So I sang. The first song that popped into my head: 'Julie do you love me?' by Bobby Sherman. That's right, Bobby Sherman! We had been listening to my old record albums not that long ago. Every time I stopped singing the nurse yelled at me to start again. And I guess it only made it funnier that I had a head cold and sounded like Elmer Fudd! But I sang. After two or three songs Dorothy was actually laughing so hard she had tears!
The fun didn't last though. When things started happening, the nurse started issuing orders and we just followed them. The baby was going into distress and they couldn't find the doctor. Of all the amazing things I saw that night, the most by far was the nurse massaging the baby's heart in the birth canal to keep the beat steady. While she was doing this, I had Dorothy's foot pushed into my shoulder as the contractions continued to hit, and Mike was holding her up against him. We continued like this for what seemed like hours but was probably only about 30 minutes or so.
Dorothy's blood pressure was through the roof so she had to keep taking breaks between pushing, but every time she did that the baby's heart rate would drop and the nurse would have to massage his little heart again! During this time two things kept going through my head: Dorothy was really, really strong when she was pushing into my shoulder, and where was the frigging doctor? He did finally show up and I could see the nurse was almost as relieved as I was! Things happened fast after that. Dorothy was exhausted by this time - not to mention her blood pressure - and she was having trouble pushing. I could see that the doctor and nurse were getting concerned as the baby's heart rate continued to drop and the nurse kept telling Dorothy she was doing great but she had to keep pushing! Dorothy began to cry and said " I can't, it hurts too bad". At that point, someone - it wasn't me honest, must have been that really mean nurse - snapped at poor Dorothy and harshly said "Suck it up. It's not about you right now, it's about the baby! Push damn it". Okay, it was mean, but it worked. Dorothy gave one last tremendous push and not-so-little Tyler was born.
The sun was up. Mike held his son for the first time. Dorothy asked me to go call her Mother in BC and tell her the news, so I stepped out into the hall to do that. Her mom and I both got choked up and had a good cry on the phone. Then I called work and left a message saying I wouldn't be in.
When I went back into the delivery room the Doctor was working on Dorothy and Mike was holding Tyler and the nurse was busy cleaning things up. I just tried to fade into the background out of the way until they were done. I found myself standing behind one of those tables on wheels that all hospitals seem to have so I leaned on it and took a deep breath. Then I noticed what I was looking down at - a large dish that contained Dorothy's placenta. I looked up and caught Dorothy's eye.
She looked the question, "what?".
"You are my own personal discovery channel medical drama" I said. Dorothy laughed and said she was glad to help. The Doctor looked up and gave me a look that clearly said "who let her in here anyway?"
Soon after, I went and found the cafeteria and brought back juice and muffins for the hungry Mom and Dad, and then I headed home. Walking to my car I ran into Mike's parents just on their way in to meet their new grandson. I felt amazing...exhilirated...still running on adrenaline!
When I got home, I thought about all the things I should probably do, and instead I lay down on the couch with my dog at my feet and slept for six hours.
Happy almost birthday Tyler!
